My Baby Emilee Marie Gwyn is 11 years old...

**** I completely forgot to post this when it was done IN JUNE*****

****here it is now, What a bad Mommy I am.but it's here please read***

Today my little (not so little) girl turns 11 years old...I can't believe that when I look at her. It seems so cliche to say that, "Just yesterday she was just a baby learning to walk." but it is so true. It seems like just yesterday that my baby...was in fact a baby...

Today she is her own big person...her own pre-teen...her own mind...the opinionated 11 year old that is almost 18. I sit here thinking to myself and I can't believe that I have missed eleven years...I mean when did she grown up, I was here the whole time but when did she get so big?

I see so much of myself in her and I have made sure that I talk to her about all of the things that challenged me so greatly in my adolescent life...

My little girl is too big...I want her to be a baby again...slow down and stop growing...

I remember the day that you were born like it was just yesterday...I remember everything about my pregnancy...You have always been an eventful little firecracker and wherever you went there was surely something exciting to follow... You're little voice was so high pitched and nasaly..but it was so funny...and it was sure to always make me smile...

You loved BARNEY and Friends more than anything and you knew more Barney songs than the kids that were on Barney I'm sure of it. You were the dancer, the singer, the free little bumble bee just buzzing around.. You were the best friend I ever had and you have the most beautiful little smile that makes me melt everytime. You knew this too I think...you used it a lot!

You were my baby that loved Mandarin Oranges...and you hated green beans ( which is true still to this day) You loved to brush your teeth...or your face actually...You never seemed to have the brush IN your mouth, you just sucked off the toothpaste...You loved when I made you cookies and you never ate just ONE...You were the little "center of attention" and the BIG HUGE CENTER OF MY LIFE....

You are an amazing lovey girl...with amazing morals and a huge heart..you care about everything and everyone..you love animals...all animals, including the icky snakes and spiders that I am afraid of...You love to get dirty and you don't care about staying that way...you would rather play in the dirt than go shopping or go out... You love Spaghetti more than anything, and you love to pull the back off of a cooked crab and drink the "Crab Soup" that your Dad taught you about!

You pick on your sister everyday...but you also make sure that NOONE ever picks on her besides you. In a way it is so sweet and at the same time...it makes me crazy that you don't just always treat her like you do when noone is watching. You are so very smart..and SUPER SUPER STRONG...I mean I know that I am strong...but there is no way that I hold a candle to you. I am sure that you can dead lift more than me anyday! Your muscles are proof of that definitely.

You are the best helper and the quickest to make sure that anytime that I even drop something, you are under my feet to pick it up before I have even started to bend over, it is your way to help when you know that my back is hurting me. You are my little girl even though you are so big, and although I am sad to see you get bigger and older...it makes me happy that you are your own little person and you stand up for what you believe.

You have never been afraid to speak your mind..and although it can be a tad annoying I am so glad that I can rest assured...you will never be a follower and it shows that you are definitely the star of your show, I am so glad that you have your own sense of style and that you like what you like regardless of what others try to impress upon you.

You still say the funniest things to me, and I can remember a time when we were in Safeway about 8 years ago....We were at Customer service because they were holding a turkey for me...the day before Thanksgiving. We were waiting for them to bring me my Turkey when there was another customer standing behind me and she had a patch on her eye. I have always been very aware of when I thought you might open your mouth and I took it upon myself to gently get your attention toward me and not her. Just then the person with the turkey came up and as I was paying for my turkey your door was wide open...and just as any 3 year old would...You looked at her and said as loud as possible..." ARRRGGGHHHH MATEY!!!" I nearly died...The color left my face...I wanted to cry, die, and just push my head into the ground....The lady who was NOT amused at all walked away as I tried to push your face into my hip to get you to stop talking...I started to run the incident through my head again and as I saw you over and over lifting up your arm saying what you said..I just thought to myself..she is going to be that kid...the one that says exactly what she thinks...and you definitely are.

Some people would say that it is a curse, and of course as I see it...a blessing in a small disguise. I know that in your adult life, I will be so proud of you for your ability to stand your ground and voice your own opinion...I am glad that you will be the leader of your own life and the only thing you will follow is your heart. It makes me so proud to have you as my daughter..If I could truly express how glad I am that you picked me as your Momma..

You always cuddle up to me, and you never plan on quitting regardless of your age...You love to rub my back...sometimes...but more just to sit right next to me than to rub my back. You still call me Momma...everyday...You don't really call me Mom, or Mommy..I love when I hear you softly whisper..Momma? I love that you twist your hair with your fingers still and I remember that when you were about 9 months and stopped nursing that you started softly rubbing the backs of your ears...then when you had hair finally you ran that through your fingers.

I thank the Lord when I look at your sweet face and I watch you as you teach your sister what is right and what is wrong...thank you Emilee for letting me be your mommy, and thank you again for allowing me to hold you, and kiss you, and treat you like a baby sometimes still....Just remember that you will always be MY little BABY!!

Here again are some more pictures that I would like to share but can't figure out how to do more than 5 at a time, LOL... I also am not too sure how Emilee and I came out sideways there, we are regular in the computer, so I sorry for that. Here is just a few more of us playing around thought that you might enjoy! Love you all, talk to you soon!

I am not sure if I will ever figure out how to post more than 5 pictures at a time, so until then you get quite a few posts to see the pictures that I want to share.. There are some pictures here, of my husband and I and Emilee when I went to her school to have lunch with her. There is one of the girls and I on our 2 mile walk the other day. I was feeling a little cabin fevered and my husband told me that he didn't think we could make it home before dark (it was 4) and so the girls and I took the challenge and we made it! 4 mile round trip...but it was cut short by husband on the way back...said that he was worried about me and so he came and picked us up on the way back up the hill. He is so silly! Here is a few pictures just to show our day outside on Sunday!

Time to write a little note~

Well, we have already had a quite eventful March. I can't for one thing believe that it is already March of 2010. I can't believe that the girls are going to be in 6th and 3rd grade in not that long. I find myself sitting here and wondering where did the time go? But then I look at the house and I look at the yard and I look at the laundry and I am slowly kicked back into reality and quickly remember that I have been working my butt off in and around this house. It brings a whole new meaning to the saying..."Bless this Mess!" :)

I have been trying to take as many pictures as possible but I find myself forgetting my camera more than I remember it! I have taken a few pictures that I will share here with this post and just give you all a little reminder of what the girls look like at their ages 10 (almost 11) and 8.

Tiffani had a wonderful birthday with a beautiful homemade cake and some cool presents along with some gift cards and some foo foo things. She is such a little beauty queen and loves anything to do with hair and make up! It is pretty cute! We decided to do the cake that Tiffani wanted..we weren't sure as far as what shape or theme we were going to to until I actually just did it, and when I looked down at the cake..completely bare, DUH..She's eight, I have 4 round cakes...8..I couldn't even believe that I Hadn't thought of it sooner. I thought that it turned out perfect, but then again I am a little biased. Everyone in the family thought that it turned out great too but they had to they are my family. LOL. It was a purple and pink raspberry flavored yellow cake with lots of cream cheese frosting, just like Tiffani wanted!

Travis celecrated his 30th birthday and I think that he took it harder than I did, we celebrated his birthday with a homemade camoflauge cake and a dinner at the local Mexican restaurant. He got some tickets to the MMA-UFC fights here locally and got some new video games for his playstation. I think that he was happy with everything other than the age he turned!

There has been a lot going on here and there has been a lot of planning about what we're going to do when we decide to move out of State. At this point we believe that we would like to choose Alaska. But have also looked into the facts that we might not want to stay there forever because of the weather, so we are looking into Colorado and also Arizona. We haven't made a for sure, for sure plan yet, but everyday we get closer and closer to our final decision and destination. I just thought that I would update this blog because I have been such a slacker and I thought that would update you with some pictures as well. I hope that you are all doing well...

~February 22, 2002~ Tiffani Raye Gwyn~ 7lbs 3oz 19in.

Happy Birthday my sweet little Tiffani!! Today you are "8" years old and I can't believe how fast the time has gone. You have grown up so much in the last couple years that I just selfishly wish that I could keep you little forever.

July 5th, 2001 I found out that I was pregnant with you. I was so happy to find out that Emilee was going to be a big sister and that we were going to welcome a new little bundle of joy to the family.

I had a very great pregnancy with you, that is until they told me that I had developed gestational diabetes and that I couldn't drink my wonderful caffeine free Pepsi anymore. I was otherwise very healthy and had very little discomfort.

I worked the entire time I was pregnant with you and you were a busy busy little baby inside my tummy. I remember the day that I went to the doctor to do an ultrasound, they took pictures of you in my belly and then asked me if I wanted to know the sex of my baby...for a short moment I thought about how cool it would be to wait and just be surprised when you got here, but I had so much to do...so much to get ready. I told her I wanted to know....and suspensfully she said...here are the toes, here are the legs, this is the spine, and this here is her bottom...."HER?" Her bottom, did I hear her, "Girl?". "Yes." she said, "It's a girl!!" I cried, your grandma Sandi cried and we then all laughed. I thought that for sure you were a boy because you were bouncing around in there like crazy ever since you were big enough for me to feel you.

I was so excited to tell Emilee that she was going to be a big sister to a baby girl! This was going to be so much FUN, dressing them alike, doing their hair the same and color coordinating everything, I was sure you girls would despise me before you were 10. I was so elated that I can't even express into words how wanted you were, and how happy we were that you picked us as your family! Thank you for that!!

It was getting closer to your due date and I went to the doctor more often and on February 21st, 2001 They has asked me to stay after my appointment because they wanted to monitor you, my blood pressure was a little high, and because I has already hypertensive they wanted to check it out and make sure that it wasn't that big of a deal. Well come to find out, it wasn't okay. My blood pressure was too high and they wanted me to go to the hospital. They told me that I could run home take Emilee to Grandma, pack my things and then go to the hospital. They were supposed to monitor me overnight and if my blood pressure went down then great, otherwise they were going to do an amniocentesis to see how well your lungs were developed. You weren't due for about 5 weeks, so they wanted to make sure that if you were making your entrance into the world that your lungs were in good shape.

I remember driving back to the hospital after I took care of my business at home, I was driving with my window down and I was in the parkade at the hospital...I smelled brand new tires, it was something that, the entire time I was pregnant with you I craved, I would go to a place called Les Schwab and walk around so that I could smell the fresh new rubber...and thinking of it makes me wish that I could smell it right now.

Their objective was to observe me overnight and if all was well then I could go home, being diabetic, pre-eclampsic and just all around high risk at this point they just wanted what was best for the both of us. I went in and was put into a room, it was so lonely in there, all by myself not knowing if everything was ok. I was nervous and scared but I couldn't wait to meet my baby. They told me that even though I was not scheduled to deliver for over a month that you could be pretty big because of my diabetes. That you would come out pretty big and then lose a lot of weight. That was another reason that they thought that they should take you, they thought that you would be about 10 pounds even now.

I stayed all night, in the cold white room, and first thing in the morning the doctor told me that they were going to do the amnio and check my fluid levels before making their decision. The nurse that did that test, was shocked that she couldn't even find a big enough pocket of fluid to do the test. They said the lungs would probably be pretty good considering there wan't even any more room in there for her to grow. This is when they decided that today would be the day! My little girl was coming, and I was ready to meet her.

Today would be the day, whether I was ready or not, here you were coming!! They told me that we were scheduled in OR2 at 5:00 and that someone would come in about 4pm to get me ready. Auntie Kim came and brought me Jelly Belly's and Grandma came down to be with me too! The doctors and the rest of the family had all started a betting pool about how big they thought that you would be because I was so big! There wasn't a number less than 9lbs on that paper!! Even your doctor thought that you were going to be 10 lbs.

Time came for us to welcome you here, and although my OR experience is something rather scary, and it made me very anxious at 5:30 pm the doctor held you up over a sea of blue paper and said, "Here she is!" Oh my goodness....she is so SMALL...we thought for sure, everyone did....she is so little. AND her HAIR, there is so much of it and it's curly....Tears, and laughter and emotions ran high in that little room. There were so many risks I was running, and with you being 5 weeks early they wanted to check you out good so they actually took you out into the Neonatal intensive care unit to get you some formula because your blood sugar was too low.

They had fixed me up after my C-section and had taken me to the recovery room where I waited for you so patiently.

Then, Auntie Kim came in with you...There she was holding you, so tiny, so sweet, so pretty. She said that you drank 15cc's of formula because you were so hungry. She brought you to me so that I could nurse you and for 45 minutes straight, you ate.... You were so beautiful. You had perfect little everything's, MY BABY...Little Tiffani Raye....

You were so tiny though..when they finally weighed you, you had already ate some formula but still the verdict was in...7lbs 3oz...WHAT? She was supposed to be huge... Pretty tiny to me.. although we weren't expecting you to come for another month you were pretty small, Emilee weighed 8lbs 10oz when she was born so I was completely ready to accept the fact that you would be bigger.

There was a lot of PHOTO drama that day... There were 2 people taking pictures...one person video recording and 2 of the three had no film or tape in their camera's....the third person...had film...but CUT your head off in every picture because she was trying to look at you without looking through the little window in the camera. I was so upset, the ONLY picture that I have of you..the day you were born is the one here in black and white where Auntie and Grandma Sandi have their hands on you checking you out. The only one that you can actually see your face in. I was devastated. I mark all milestones with hundreds of pictures, what I horrible mother I will be when you ask me why I have so many of Emilee when she was born and I have ONE of you....just know that I tried and it was an accident and trust me no matter what even though I don't have but one picture to hold of you the day you were born....that the image in my mind is perfectly priceless and something that I will never ever forget.

You lost a lot of weight in the hospital, when we finally went home about 6 days later, you only weighed 5lbs even. They told me that you would lose weight though, because it was just sugar weight....That you would drop the sugar fat, and then slowly start gaining again. It took you awhile but before we knew it, you had your little rolls on you and you were "Rolly Polly Raisin"

When I brought you home, your sister was so mad at me, I left her for days....just left her with Grandma and she only could visit me at the hospital for little bits at a time. She was very very jealous of you. She thought that for sure you were sent here from another planet to take her mother away. It took her some getting used to... It's 2010 now... don't worry she'll get there someday we hope :)

You were the easiest baby in the world...you never cried...ever. You were an excellent sleeper and you were a very well adapted little lady. Your sister on several occasions tried dragging you into the stuffed animals in her room because she wanted you to "play " with you. I was just sure that everything was going to be great with you two..you would be great friends. You were such a serious baby. You never smiled at anyone. No joke, you were a thinker...you analyzed everything and with such a serious face, even a little scowl at times. You would laugh for no one but your sister and your mommy. A smile that lit your entire face up, your eyebrows, your ears, everything just lit up when you smiled.

You still love to smile today, you are still such a happy girl. Always so sweet, so helpful. I think it is crazy how much you like to do chores and help out with the "Mommy things", You offer to do them, and I can't literally pay your sister to do it with a smile. You and Emilee are like day and night, my two little girls with such different likes, and opinions. It makes for some eventful days to say the least. You are such a girly girl, you love"Nake-UP" you called it that for years.

You love everything, you are so positive and so happy and I can't think of a day that you haven't had a smile on your face. You like to play games with your sister and you like to learn wrestling moves with your daddy. Your favorite and signature move is the elbow smash. You can throw a pretty mean elbow. Today you turn 8 and I can't believe it, you were just 2. You were just in kindergarten.. You're now in the 2nd grade. Time surely does fly...I hope that you have a wonderful birthday Tiffani...I know that you refuse to eat a store bought cake on your birthday and I wouldn't be surprised if you only made the choice of having homemade cakes to make me feel special...if that is the case, it worked. This year you chose yellow cake with raspberry flavor and a cream cheese frosting. I will also add a little raspberry filling. You are a wonderful person Tiffani and you will be such a great friend to anyone that deserves your friendship and I am so proud that you are my daughter. You have filled my heart with joy and made my job as Doctor, Secretary, Chef, Writer, Seamstress, House cleaner, Chauffeur, and the best of all "Mommy" so very rewarding and I love you so much. Happy Birthday Sweetheart, May your Day be filled with everything Happy and may you get everything in life your heart desires....We love you lots...Love, Mommy, Daddy and Emilee.....Your Family.....

Here is the new page.

Always trying to get into my other blog , it wouldn't let me because somehow I forgot my own password. I really don't know how I did it? So for now I have started a new blog, and I will be updating both blogs once I get my information to log in on the Manic Mondays blog. Thank you so much for following my updates, it is a wonderful feeling to know that I have friends out there who like to stay updated!